Sitting thinking

find I’m wondering

girls winkin’ -

my heart hungering

Quit the fine herb shots

but no thoughts of finking

Got lots more thoughts

new rhymes I’m now linking

supplemental sacrifice

implementing this – I’m cold as ice

we’ve gotcha now – we’ve sussed yer vice

don’t ya now always think of me nice

I’ve gotta mind bomb

make ya run back to mom

it’s a newly sung song

hey boys – now i belong

I wanna keep me fluent

wanna stay the course – congruent

with whitewater mindflows

even after i push send

think i’ve found my niche

not anymore on microfiche

the fed’s now let me offa my leash

now sittin’ here writing rhymes…

out here on Vancouver’s beach

It’s the right place – all the different faces

gone back to erase it

new life now – i’ve left no trace

I gotta new way – new days to embrace

I wonder all the time

What ink will outline the rhyme

Floating ’round in my head

Get it out before I’m dead

What’s next?   From where has it came

The need for this again and again

No shame – reframe the refrain

So I don’t feel so fucking lame

Gotta get at the guts

Get outta the soul ruts

No women are the sluts

But those cruel thoughts that cut

Good ideas I know when I see ya

Like draped my a mindsheet

These thoughts that are so fleet

Of mental gamma ray bursts

And those truly the firsts

To quench dry mind thirsts

From the tank in my bank

Of cold thought currency

Of snowflake flurries be

Liquid till written frozen on the page

A sandgrain in the desert sage

Cold lovely but surrounded

By a universe of thoughts – hounded

By pmac

Is the artist in love

Does the piece feel it too

A constantly changing masterpiece

Begging to be misconstrued

When you look at me

Through the eyes of your soul

Does my incomplete inner work

Look attractive or just plain droll

Which way you look

And how much you sow

Are you a love crook

Or do we ever know

Faith in common circumstance

Its all the same in each of us

Do you like this sort of dance

Or is your preference a must

Does art need to be loved

As you walk by the gallery

Do the crowded throngs mean to shove

Or is self acceptance their salary?

Nature art and personality

Go about their tasks with glee

As if oblivious they are to see

If appraisal really sets the fee

I love you, me and all …today

I have still urges to fall …into dismay

If someone loves me…despite dischord

That someone..me the Universe and the Lord

An uncontested providence

A callous time to behold

I’ve collected much of the evidence

And now refrain from wanting it sold

This world and it’s sorely missed plans

The internal trying to deny

People gilding their zealot fed plans

Not enjoying the outward blue sky

All times today are focused

Like the myopic lost contact effect

Eternal battles for control locus

Media attempts to keep us bereft

On the run, battles for the sun

Energy and synergy  – sonnets and eulogies

Who’s  left with the bag unzipped

Watching all the gold coins fall – bag ripped

Fallopian tubes to conduct the new world order

Are we standardizing creations call

Mother Nature and our wish to Lord Her

Watch as she taunts us with downfall

This torrid time of psychic stress

Blissful traditions and coffee trips

The content along us missed the blessings

Of learned gems found in our normalcy rips

When are we to look inside

Sell to myself that I’ve come ’round

The Beautiful and the Ugly vain

Wish to sell their discoveries found

Who wants them with the web and digital TV

Changes small and late commutes rule my ship’s tack

No time to believe, bereave or time to check my sleeve

For the hearts that you’ve all left me and want back

There are great things ahead for everyone in good ways in 2010.  Good times, good people and good futures.  One is what you make of it.  Tell not what you don’t wand said, tell what you want felt good.  People are inherently good but human nature is reactive and harsh.  I try to be good and stay ahead of the snakes nipping at my feet.  I stomp on them from time to time and will continue to do so.

People reading this might say What the fuck is he talking about.  That is fine but those who actually know me might take time to reflect on this in their own lives.  I have been told I am pretty loyal, pretty good person.  I have had my problems and difficulties – many of which are too much for many to even hear from me)  this is telling me that when people say you’re coming along… they have only the idea that these things are surmountable – not that they are easy or that they want anything to do with my life.  Some do Some don’t.

I just love people and want to work hard but the dark parts of this sea of thought surrounding us often keep me from getting a foothold and the weakness is apparently mine.  SOo many people are faking it through this charade of life.  I am not and this is why I am the guy in the corner much of the time.  Not to say that the corner isn’t a good place.  Sometimes the corner makes people ignore me and hence not hassle me.  Sometimes not.

Snowboarding and rowing and health and trying to stay on the good road are all the things I am focusing on.  Still p0eople want to let their hair down, ignore the good foot or stomp on it

Here’s a couple of poems:

Mysterious Places

Thunder in the rain

It’s a snag wire

a fucking foul quagmire

this internal rage fire

and it’s bounty hunter’s desire

gonna go get it

erase it and displace it

i gotta embrace it

to destroy it

the hobble pain

the piece of me that speaks

like the thunder in the rain

as response to actions’ shrieks

Before – and below the surface

Alive – that pain it ilked us

All several of me – no splits you see

became one to sing the victory chorus

time now to wage my war

unsure now what’ll be in store

my boat set off away from shore

to mysterious places not mentioned in lore

I thought once that learning things was just pick it up from watching or reading about it.  This is wrong.  Learning the hard way – by DOING is the best.  I find that lots of people including myself often think that once they see it they get it and that they ‘think they can do it’  I often ask so have you ever snowboarded?  They say yeah once and I didn’t like it.  I ask them how can you say you don’t like it if that was the first time? ( Usually it takes 2-3 times before some people pick up on it ( klutzes aside)  Often they say well I don’t like the cold or I don’t like being wet or something totally separate from the act of snowboarding.

It is like zen.  DO it or don’t critique it and give yourself time to enjoy it before judging.  A good snowboarding friend and mentor ( the deceased Chris Thomas of Vancouver ) showed me how to get the basics of snowboarding and then “abandoned” me at the top of the hill which was the best as it made me realize that I wanted to learn and I had the whole Blackcomb mountain to learn from – I was cutting turns by the end of the morning and love it now beyond little else! .

This is the run that I first learned on after my first day falling ( Chris went up Spanky’s Ladder and I went down the far right side of this mountain (on the far left side of this picture)  It was on a day very much like this so it was easy to allow the pains of learning to egg me on!!)

http://www.eecg.toronto.edu/~lemieux/pictures/canon/whistler/blackcomb2.jpg

I think the same goes for being ‘green’  many people don’t like it but have no frame of reference to say it.  Sometimes they are brought into it through force.  Others are induced through people they love or respect and this gets more detail as it makes learning easier by far.

Along the snowboarding analogy, people don’t like snowboarding usually when they go with friends who are impatient or criticizing or waay better and let this be shown.  The best way is to have fun doing whatever it is and hope they do too.

Frustration is found in expectation and when I learned how to snowboard there was neither as I was out having fun – same goes for life I htink.  THe more plans and expectations you set ( ie unrealistic or unattainable goals in terms of timescale) the faster the cookie crumbles.

I dunno, I just think learning the hard way is useful but innate understanding is the best and few have it in any realm.

Anyways I ramble on

Friendship is the cooperative and supportive relationship between people. In this sense, the term connotes a relationship which involves mutual knowledge, esteem, affection, and respect along with a degree of rendering service to friends in times of need or crisis. Friends will welcome each other’s company and exhibit loyalty towards each other, often to the point of altruism. Their tastes will usually be similar and may converge, and they will share enjoyable activities. They will also engage in mutually helping behavior, such as the exchange of advice and the sharing of hardship. A friend is someone who may often demonstrate reciprocating and reflective behaviors. Yet for some, the practical execution of friendship is little more than the trust that someone will not harm them.

Value that is found in friendships is often the result of a friend demonstrating the following on a consistent basis:

• the tendency to desire what is best for the other
• sympathy and empathy
• honesty, perhaps in situations where it may be difficult for others to speak the truth, especially in terms of pointing out the perceived faults of one’s counterpart
• mutual understanding

In a comparison of personal relationships, friendship is considered to be closer than association, although there is a range of degrees of intimacy in both friendships and associations. Friendship and association can be thought of as spanning across the same continuum. The study of friendship is included in sociology, social psychology, anthropology, philosophy, and zoology. Various theories of friendship have been proposed, among which are social exchange theory, equity theory, relational dialectics, and attachment styles.

hey ‘friend’;…they  said I’m their  ‘friend’ — facebook ‘friends’  what a crock of shit?

I had my first real operation today ( other than wisdom teeth 20 yrs ago)  I was put under which was a really freaky thing.  Passed out and woke up in another room very freaky.  I think now any operation for anything isn’t scary as you aren’t ‘there’ for it – no worries.  I am planning to keep operations to a minimum though as I don’t like the groggy H-e-l-l–o  -tt-h-e–e-r-r-e- slow talk you get afterwards.  really funny so I called some friends to share the experience.  oops!

cya

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Only Gold will do...

It would be cool if we could backcast from 5 years ago like the Age of Stupid did over more years and how what we can do NOW can affect tomorrow drastically.  It is simple.  Staying comfy and conservative in our visions of the future will be hazardous.  That is all.

I for one want to see New Westminster do a Zero Waste Community Challenge – not for a couple of months but for A COUPLE OF YEARS!!  in staged ways to get this city ahead of the curve on all of this so we can PROVE TO OURSELVES that we are progressive and not ossified fossils like the ones we burn in the cars we drive up the hill cause we are too lazy to walk or ride.

Sure comfy is fun but for how long?